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25 October 2007 @ 02:27 am
dear anybody,
i hooked up with a southwest girl today and it's been hours and my hands still smell of it. i tried using lemons, and it didn't last too long. i was wondering if anyone knows how i can get rid of the stench.

i feel like lady macbeth trying to wash her hands repeatedly. blah.

please and thank you in advance
24 October 2007 @ 12:17 pm
Hottest beef cake in Amherst (or the greater Amherst area)?

I think its Thirdage.

Current Music: Sucks
12 October 2007 @ 05:57 am
Where you at?
21 July 2007 @ 04:32 pm
In more important news, I feel it's my obligation to inform you all that the farm just North of Strong Street on Northeast Street has not one, not two, but perhaps 4 or 5 baby llamas prancing, frolicking, playing and running around. (They're so young, tight, and docile!)They also have several recently born goats. And I've gotta tell ya, they're looking mighty fine. So if you're like the vast majority of UMass_Amherst LJ students, you're probably needing to get laid- Just head on over to Strong Street and show yourself a good time!
19 July 2007 @ 10:18 pm
How important is the interview? Should I wear underwear or go commando and uncross my legs? Will I be able to find an alumni in Massachusetts or is that a tall order? What will they ask me? Will it affect my chances of getting in?
19 July 2007 @ 05:01 pm
Why I Am Inferior to You: Part One

The following summarizes the extent of my mediocrity and your above-average mediocrity. Read it, you might forget something you learned. I slightly pity you, for having to read this.

1) I am an unemployed graduate not working at UMass for $15.00/hour anymore. You work in the DC or security and probably party/get laid far more than me.

2) I do a lot things worse than whining prematurely. 'Nuff said.

3) I t unleash PMS-related frustration over livejournal, I mean that's what it's THERE for lolz.

4) I live in a one-bedroom apartment, but unlike everyone else, I don't even have a bed. And no, I don't live on the fourth floor with the heathens, I live in a basement that floods every time in rains.

5) My communication degree actually has future prospects....like mastering the custodial arts. Women's Studies, Psychology, English, and Engineering won't get you anywhere near that, you'll make plenty of moniez. I failed as soon as I took 118.

6) You have neutral feelings towards me as you are reading this. This is perhaps no real problem. You must recognize that I am the lowest of low: a Umass Alum. In fact, you should spit on me. If you don't, I won't be as charitable when I'm greeting you at Wal-Mart.

7) I am far worse looking than you. Let's face it: well, let's not actually, my face is not my best feature. Sorry. I guess the Internet is the only place for lil' ole' creepy me.
Still, I'm doomed to a life of poverty, always having overdue credit card statements, but no electric bills due to me living in a box. I better stop crying on LJ and start working on getting a life before it's too late.

9) I am not a woman. Women, even when beautiful and intelligent, are still vastly superior in terms of masculinity than me.

Part 2 won't be written not later.
19 July 2007 @ 02:54 pm

Now that scooter_libby has been b& from umass_amherst, who will he be reincarnated as?

oliver_north ... a classic

PS, we'll light a candle for ya buddy. One of those trick candles that never goes out and gets wax all over the cake.
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Current Music: sweet, sweet Haier air conditioner
08 July 2007 @ 09:38 pm
i got a big fat dick wanna ram it in your pussy stick your own cock in your anus lube it up with love sweat and tears
04 July 2007 @ 01:01 pm
Since leaving the fair environs of umass_amherst for greener pastures, I have learned of many new and strange customs. This community is modeled after damnportlanders' bad little brother, dp_snark.

The purpose of this community is to lampoon particularly snark-worthy or redundant posts from umass_amherst.

Read the info. Snark the post, not the person. If you get snarked, don't come crying about it; you posted in a public forum.
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