Why I Am Inferior to You: Part One
The following summarizes the extent of my mediocrity and your above-average mediocrity. Read it, you might forget something you learned. I slightly pity you, for having to read this.
1) I am an unemployed graduate not working at UMass for $15.00/hour anymore. You work in the DC or security and probably party/get laid far more than me.
2) I do a lot things worse than whining prematurely. 'Nuff said.
3) I t unleash PMS-related frustration over livejournal, I mean that's what it's THERE for lolz.
4) I live in a one-bedroom apartment, but unlike everyone else, I don't even have a bed. And no, I don't live on the fourth floor with the heathens, I live in a basement that floods every time in rains.
5) My communication degree actually has future prospects....like mastering the custodial arts. Women's Studies, Psychology, English, and Engineering won't get you anywhere near that, you'll make plenty of moniez. I failed as soon as I took 118.
6) You have neutral feelings towards me as you are reading this. This is perhaps no real problem. You must recognize that I am the lowest of low: a Umass Alum. In fact, you should spit on me. If you don't, I won't be as charitable when I'm greeting you at Wal-Mart.
7) I am far worse looking than you. Let's face it: well, let's not actually, my face is not my best feature. Sorry. I guess the Internet is the only place for lil' ole' creepy me.
Still, I'm doomed to a life of poverty, always having overdue credit card statements, but no electric bills due to me living in a box. I better stop crying on LJ and start working on getting a life before it's too late.
9) I am not a woman. Women, even when beautiful and intelligent, are still vastly superior in terms of masculinity than me.
Part 2 won't be written not later.